awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there was a trapeze. enough said
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Of course I have a pirate flag
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
