So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
