I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's shark week go big or go home
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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