well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
