My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
