Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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