very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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