What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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