at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
