I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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