if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize