I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize