Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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