Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
