eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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