You can't special order awesome
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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