wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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