he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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