Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
