How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
