need another drink. this is the easiest way
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize