Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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