is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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