The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
