your room smells of hookers.
And success
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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