And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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