I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
