awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
