You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
