You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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