Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
