try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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