While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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