did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
