You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
