I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
