I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
