just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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