i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
