I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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