i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize