wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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