I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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