I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
