He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
