nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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