tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
