Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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