I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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