I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You left your phone here
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