Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
