And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
