All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize