is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Randomize