Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
