There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
