Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
