toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have already put on my inside pants.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
