I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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