love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My life is pants optional.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
