Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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