Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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