remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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