hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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